Rae Stonehouse

Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.

Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:

Power Networking for Shy PeoplePower Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

PROtect Yourself!PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.

E=Emcee SquaredE=Emcee SquaredTips & Techniques to Becoming a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.

Power of PromotionPower of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth


Phone Rae 250-451-6564 or info@raestonehouse.com

Rae’s social … are you?

Twitter: http://twitter.com/RaeStonehousehttp://twitter.com/RaeStonehouse

Linkedin? Rae is http://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehousehttp://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehouse

Copyright 2016 Rae Stonehouse. The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.

To learn more about Rae A. Stonehouse, visit the Wonderful World of Rae Stonehouse at http://raestonehouse.comhttp://raestonehouse.com.

As originally answered on Quora.com


TM Club Meeting, We shake hands a lot!Assuming that you are over the age of 18, the undeniable best way to overcome your fear and to become not only a good speaker but an exceptional speaker, is to join Toastmasters.

If you go to http://toastmasters.orghttp://toastmasters.org and then locate the Find a Club feature. It will quickly tell you if there is a club near you. Guests are usually quite welcome. I say usually because some clubs may be restricted to employees of a certain business. You can also usually check out a couple of meetings to see if it is for you, before you join.

There is value in reading self-help books. I still do and have my own library. The problem with them is that while they may provide you with sage advice, they don’t provide you with the opportunity to speak in public. You don’t learn public speaking by osmosis. You have to get up and speak!

In addressing your fear, you aren’t alone. There is an old hard to find quote, from a book from the 1970s The Book of Lists. In a list of top 10 fears experienced by people, fear of public speaking was number one. Number three was fear of death!

Something is wrong with that. More people would rather die than speak in public? I’ll speak for hours, just don’t kill me!

As originally answered on Quora.com


How would you describe success?Thanks for your question. Its been quite a while since I have delivered a speech on the topic of success. You have fired up my creative juices and I will put creating a speech on success on my ‘To Do’ list.

There are likely hundreds of ideas that you can use for direction if you research quotes on the subject of success. Just take the message from the quote and expand upon it, add your perspective and some examples.

Here are some examples:

“Success is 20% skills and 80% strategy. You might know how to read, but more importantly, what's your plan to read?” -- Jim Rohn. With a quote like this you can go in several directions. The 20-80 formula is known as the Pareto Principal. You could expand upon on that is evident in almost everything we do. It can be said that “success is 20% inspiration, 80% perspiration.”

The quote focuses on the value of reading. Your speech could be crafted around how being an effective reader leads towards success. You could expand upon the how to read to lead towards more success in life. You can expand upon the concept of skills vs strategy. You don’t have to agree with Mr. Rohn, you can craft a speech around disagreeing or proving him wrong.

As originally answered on Quora.com


How many sets of kidneys has your glass of water filtered through.Here is what I recall as being the most memorable attention getter for me. I believe that it might have been from an article in the Toastmaster magazine on the subject of grabbing your audience’s attention. The presentation was on water conservation.

While holding a glass of water the presenter looked at the glass and then looked at the audience and then took a sip. “This glass of water has gone through eight sets of kidneys before it has collected in this glass. The bad news is that there isn’t enough to go around!”

That opening was attention grabbing on several different levels.

I often start off with a rhetorical question to engage the audience from the get-go. The idea is to answer the audience’s question “What’s in it for me?” “Why should I listen to this speaker?” Being that the question is rhetorical, I’m not really expecting an answer. I’m hoping the audience will be reflective, allowing me to transition to the next stage of my presentation. I also prepare for the eventuality that somebody does actually answer the question and take me in a direction that I don’t necessarily want to go. There are a lot of literal thinkers out there that may not realize that the opening question was intended to be rhetorical.

Sunday, 11 September 2016 00:38

How do I stop shaking when speaking in public?

As originally published on Quora.com


Impromptu Speaking before and after. Which describes you?In the immortal words of Jerry Lee Lewis “whole lotta shakin goin on!”.

The ‘shakes’ are merely a physical manifestation of our nervous energy. It ties into the flight/fight reaction. Our body releases adrenaline so that we are prepared to either run away from the stressor or to stay and fight it. In the case of speaking publicly, we are likely staying to fight. By choice! Well, perhaps in most cases.

Not everyone experiences shakes. Equally annoying can be nausea, dizziness, hyperventilation, headache and numerous other somatic complaints. While they are all annoying and perhaps very scary at the time, they serve a purpose. They are designed to keep us safe and out of trouble.

The challenge is in working past these somatic symptoms. In Toastmasters, we often talk about the ‘butterflies.’ These butterflies are the aches and pains we feel in our stomachs at times like when we have to speak in public. It has probably become a cliché, but it still holds true … the secret is to get those butterflies to fly in formation.

As originally answered on Quora.com


Toastmasters in action! Have you visited a club yet?The # 8 project in the Competent Communicator manual is “Get Comfortable With Visual Aids.”

At the risk of stating the obvious, the idea is to help you gain experience with using visual aids.

I have delivered this particular project fifteen times and have used audio-visuals in dozens of my presentations.

First off, I would suggest forgetting about the need to write a speech that focuses on using visual aids. Rather, you should create a speech that will be even better if you use visual aids to add to your message. Almost any presentation that is educational, instructional or informative lends itself to using visual aids. This project is to get you comfortable with your visual aids. You can only do so … by doing so!

When I first delivered this project, overhead projectors were the technology of the day. We had to learn how to create and copy overheads as well as how to organize them so they were in order. We also had to learn how to place the transparency on the overhead projector and replace them with another without blinding our audience.

In our digital world, audiences are becoming more sophisticated. They expect high-quality visuals to go with your presentation. Handouts are still effective as a way to share your content or provide additional content to what you are delivering. Your handouts should be well prepared and include lots of white space. You will need to decide whether your handout is better passed out in advance of your presentation or at strategic points throughout. I have used both.

Saturday, 10 September 2016 23:35

What makes Toastmasters successful?

As originally answered on Quora.com


Visit a Toastmaster meeting today!To be able to answer this question with any degree of quality, I think it is necessary to challenge the original assertion … is Toastmasters successful?

I think you have to qualify the term successful. Of the hundreds of thousands of members that have passed through the organization, have everyone of them been successful at achieving their goals? No.

Is Toastmasters the best in the world at teaching communication & leadership skills? Possibly, but probably not. It is however, the undisputed leader of providing inexpensive, effective communication & leadership skills training.

As a 22-year member, so far, I definitely believe that Toastmasters is successful from my perspective. I have leadership experience from the club executive level through to Area, Division, District and Regional.

So what actually makes Toastmasters successful? At the simplest level, I would say that the members do. We are a world-wide organization composed of clubs that embrace culture, ethnicity, diversity, adults over the age of 18 years, etc.

Thursday, 01 September 2016 03:57

What are the benefits of like-minded connections?


Power Networking HandshakeIt might be helpful to think in terms of the mutual benefits of like-minded connections. While being like-minded, some may call it resonating, certainly makes it easier to communicate your desire to the other person, there is great value in offering something in return.

Being like-minded doesn’t mean that they are exactly the same as you. We all have our own life-experiences, wants, desires, hopes, prejudices and biases. Even though we are like-minded on specific topics, we are still quite different.

Far too many people in business have the idea that they need to get something from somebody, whether at a cost or free. A different approach, as promoted by Dr. Ivan Misner of BNI (Business Networking International) is that of ‘givers gain.’ The concept simply put, is that if you give freely to others, you will receive something of equal or greater value in return.

If you are a Law of Attraction believer the concept is that if you do something favourable for somebody else, without the expectation of return from them, the Universe will see to it that you receive something in return. The challenge is in recognizing the fact that what you receive in return may not come from the person you gave to. It could come from another source.

I'm trying to understand the entire market of "professional networking groups" including what are the largest groups, how many people attend, what professions utilize professional networking etc.  Thanks in advance for your help.


as originally answered on Quora.com


From my experience, there is very little research, if any on the subject of professional networking groups. Just to clarify the question a little I would expect that you are asking about groups where professionals network, rather than networking groups that are professional in nature. Professional Associations, might meet that criteria.

Thursday, 01 September 2016 02:39

If you do not toot your own horn then who will?

as originally answered in Quora.com

Blow your own horn! If you don't who will?Short answer … in my opinion … likely nobody will.

Slightly longer answer …

Even is someone is tooting (blowing) your horn, are they playing the right tune?

Self-promotion is an area that many people have great difficulty with. We are trained at an early age that talking about yourself and your accomplishments is bragging and nobody likes a bragger. I’m fond of a quote by Walt Whitman, American Cowboy Poet “If you done it, it ain’t bragging!”

If we are to move forward and benefit from our accomplishments, we need to self-promote.

I recently delivered a seminar at my Toastmasters club entitled ‘Blow Your Own Horn: Personal Marketing for Everyday People.”

In the seminar I outlined the differences between personal branding and corporate branding. I encouraged everyone to do a self-analysis to determine what they stand for. I outlined ways to use Linkedin and other social media to facilitate self-promotion.

as originally answered on Quora.com

Should you listen to your audience? Of course!For far too long, many presenters believe that delivering a presentation is a one-way process. The presenter delivers the goods and the audience passively receives them.

It may have been that way once upon a time. Nowadays, audiences have higher expectations of presenters. They expect the presentation to be interactive and they expect to be able to ask questions of the presenter.

The basics of communication is as follows: A delivers a message to BB receives it and responds to A. If B doesn’t receive the message in the first place, communication hasn’t taken place. If B does receive the message but chooses not to respond to A, then communication has occurred but A does not receive any feedback.

When presenting i.e. communicating to your audience, listening to your audience is only one of the tasks that you need to be doing.

The most obvious reason to listen to your audience, at least to me, is to ensure they are awake. Snoring is a good clue that your presentation and topic aren’t as exciting as you would believe. More than one audience member snoring is even a more startling observation. Not in my presentations of course … but I have seen it many times in others.

As a presenter you need to listen to your audience and perhaps direct your presentation to meet the audience’s needs, not necessarily yours.