Rae Stonehouse

Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.

Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:

Power Networking for Shy PeoplePower Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

PROtect Yourself!PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.

E=Emcee SquaredE=Emcee SquaredTips & Techniques to Becoming a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.

Power of PromotionPower of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth


Phone Rae 250-451-6564 or info@raestonehouse.com

Rae’s social … are you?

Twitter: http://twitter.com/RaeStonehousehttp://twitter.com/RaeStonehouse

Linkedin? Rae is http://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehousehttp://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehouse

Copyright 2016 Rae Stonehouse. The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.

To learn more about Rae A. Stonehouse, visit the Wonderful World of Rae Stonehouse at http://raestonehouse.comhttp://raestonehouse.com.

as originally answered on Quora.com

How would you talk about yourself in the 3rd person?Interesting question! Of the hundreds of speeches and presentations that I have delivered, I don’t think that I have ever delivered a speech, in the third person, about myself. As for writing self-promotional copy in the third person, yes, lots of it.

I think one of the initial challenges in creating this type of speech is that it is an uncomfortable topic for many of us. Certainly it is a topic that we know more about than any other person in the world, but actually saying it out loud and sharing it with others is challenging. It relies on a certain amount of assertiveness and self-confidence.

Many of us have been told from an early age that we shouldn’t talk about ourselves because nobody likes a bragger. I quite often refer to the quote from Walt Whitman, American Cowboy Poet “If you done it, it ain’t bragging!”

How you create your speech and the content that you include, depends on what your purpose is. Are you speaking to inform, are you speaking to entertain, are you speaking to promote yourself, or is this merely an exercise to get you thinking out of the box?

Thursday, 18 August 2016 03:53

What is the best way to network?


as originally posted on Quora.com

HandshakingI don’t think that there is an absolute answer to this question. The answer probably lies in one’s ability to take advantage of different networking models.

If you are a shy introvert, utilizing the internet in advance to learn more about the people you are going to be networking with, reducing your anxiety and building your self-confidence, then Linked in can be of use. I outline a system I created in my book Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

Sunday, 14 August 2016 01:20

How do I deliver a good impromptu speech?

How do I deliver a good impromptu speech. Article by Rae StonehouseFirstly, you need to develop your all-round public speaking skills so that when the opportunity arises, you have the ability and the self-confidence to deliver an impromptu speech. Secondly, you need to say something that is worth your audience’s time to listen to.

Let me clarify impromptu speaking scenarios for anyone reading this response. Here are some examples of impromptu speaking opportunities:

· The scheduled speaker is unavailable

· You are sitting on a panel answering questions from the audience

· You are fielding questions after your own talk

· You are being interviewed on television, radio, webinar, or telephone

· You are invited (at the last moment) to say a few words at a company gathering

· You are asked to provide a brief status report for your project at a department meeting

· You are motivated to join the debate at the parent association meeting for your child’s school

· You decide to give an unplanned toast at an event with family or friends

Accountants & Public Speaking: Article by Rae Stonehouse.It doesn’t really matter if you are a funeral director, a tow truck driver, a cosmetician or even an accountant, the same rules apply to becoming an engaging speaker.

The first two caveats are likely that you have to something worthwhile talking about and secondly you need an audience i.e. somebody who is interested or could benefit from your message.

The secret to becoming an engaging speaker is to be confident in your speaking. Darren Lacroix, the 2001 World Champion of Public Speaking, often says that the secret to becoming confident in your speaking is “stagetime, stagetime, stagetime” which can also be interpreted as “practice, practice, practice!”

Any local Toastmasters club will give you ample opportunities to hone your speaking skills and in turn increase your self-confidence. Fellow club members will provide constructive feedback that will help hone your skills. As a 22 year member of Toastmasters, so far, I have certainly benefitted from the opportunities that my club membership has provided. I have also accepted many speaking opportunities out in the public that also continue to help me hone my speaking skills.

Thursday, 11 August 2016 15:20

What are some speed networking tips?


What are some Speed Networking Tips? Article by Rae Stonehouse.Question as asked on Quora.com and answered by Rae Stonehouse. “What are the speed professional networking tips?”


I’m not sure how to interpret this question. One way would be that the question is looking for tips from professional speed networkers. This would presume that there is a subsector of elite networkers that consider themselves professionals. If so, I would expect that they are self-proclaimed professionals. That leads me to wonder that if they are so good, why do they have to keep producing more connections? Wouldn’t it be better to build quality relationships with the number of connections they already have i.e. quality over quantity?

Another perspective is that the question is asking for speed networking tips from business professionals that are successful using the format of speed networking. I’ll go with the latter.

Speed networking is an organized event where the expectation is that all of the participants will have access to a greater number of personal interactions then they would on their own or at a typical, non-organized meet and greet.

As answered at Quora.com ...

shy?Like any thought-provoking question, there likely isn’t a definitive answer. This one, as others, would likely fit into the “it depends” category.

Let me preface my comments with sharing that I am a 22 years and counting member of Toastmasters, Past District 21 Governor and a Distinguished Toastmaster. I wouldn’t say that I was painfully shy when I joined Toastmasters but my shyness did limit me significantly.

While I can’t recommend a Toastmasters club enough for its ability to help increase your self-confidence, your poise, your communication & leadership skills and in time a reduction of one’s shyness, it isn’t an automatic effect of joining a club. You don’t learn public speaking by osmosis. You actually have to speak and incrementally improve your skill and self-confidence.

The same applies to reduction of one’s shyness. If you join a Toastmasters club with the expectation that they will solve your shyness problem, then you will be disappointed. On the other hand, if you join with the express purpose of reducing your shyness and a self-directed plan to do so, you will likely be successful.

Our Toastmasters club officers take on their leadership role in one year increments. They are learning on the job as they practice servant leadership. I would expect that few of them have any practical experience in helping a shy person move forward. I have encountered far too many people, which tend to be extroverts, say “Just do as I do! That’s the right way!” When helping someone overcome shyness, it isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ scenario.


Sunday, 07 August 2016 07:47

What is the best self-introduction?

 As answered on Quora.com...


What is the best self-introduction by Rae Stonehouse, Author of Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!A one-size-fits-all response doesn’t work with this question. The best self introduction is the one that you are comfortable delivering and that serves your purpose.

In my article How High Does Your Elevator Go?,How High Does Your Elevator Go?, I suggest that you prepare several different versions of your elevator pitch i.e. self-introduction, as well as different time lengths.

How long should your elevator pitch be? Good question! Answer … It depends. Not much of an answer at first glance, but it really depends on the norms or the culture for location or venue of the networking session. Presenting your 30 minute curriculum vitae wouldn’t likely go over very well in a round-robin style of group introduction where the expectation is 30 seconds, not 30 minutes.

Many referral networking breakfast/luncheon groups based on the BNI (Business Networking International) model, limit their members to 30 second elevator pitches. The more members, the longer the activity takes, but at least it gives everyone an opportunity to speak.

 As answered on Quora ... 

How does an introvert network successfully, with regards to career? Answered by Rae Stonehouse, Okanagan-based Author & Speaker.There would seem to me to be at least three separate elements that need addressed in answering this commonly asked question i.e. 1) introversion 2) networking successfully & 3) career.

There seems to be a belief, at least in North America, that being an extravert in the business world, is better than being an introvert. Extravert is good, introvert is bad. Or it would seem that many extraverts would have us believe this and many of my fellow introverts have bought into the myth. Introversion vs extraversion is merely a way to describe where you get your energy from. You might say it is how you recharge your batteries.

Extraverts thrive on activity and being part of and participating in larger groups of people. Some love the crowd scene and being the centre of attention. Good for them! Introverts on the other hand prefer solitary activities, certainly quieter ones. Its hard to recharge when the extraverted world is focused on hustle and bustle. As an introvert, I require a certain amount of ‘me time’ to recharge and participate in the numerous creative activities I have underway at any given time. I will go on record as saying that I would much rather party with an extravert though!

When it comes to networking, be it for business, career or pleasure, I don’t think the issue to focus on is whether one is an introvert or an extravert. The real focus should be on shyness.

Sunday, 07 August 2016 07:24

How do I Overcome Social Anxiety?

As answered in Quora.com

Social AnxietyCalling it ‘social anxiety’ is great for mental health clinicians. We’ve always known it as shyness.

Shyness is a learned behaviour. We are conditioned to be shy by our circumstances in life. We aren’t born with it. Experiences that have been unpleasant to us have a way of repeating themselves when we least expect it. Odds are, that when we respond with shyness in a social situation, we wouldn’t recognize that our response is conditioned or a reflex related to the original incident. Our conscious mind won’t give us access to that memory. Yet we respond almost in the exact same way as we originally did.

The big pharmaceutical companies would have us believe that shyness is an illness i.e. social phobia (social anxiety) and they just happen to have a high priced pill to cure you of your illness. You don’t cure shyness. It isn’t an illness. You can however reduce the impact that it has upon your life and the limitations that it creates for you.

You also can’t generalize the symptoms of shyness. Situations that cause you distress may not bother me or someone else at all and vice versa.

I’ve been plagued with shyness throughout my life. Many people who know me would find that hard to believe and often consider me to be an outgoing person. I’m not. My default mode is to be shy. What makes the difference for me is that I have worked hard at overcoming my shyness, in those social situations that have caused me problems. I have learned strategies that have helped. Not all the time though. I still feel anxiety when I walk into a crowded room and don’t recognize anyone.

Sunday, 07 August 2016 07:10

How Do I Get Better at Networking?

As answered on Quora.com

How do I get better at networking? Answered by Rae Stonehouse Author of Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!Interesting answers on the question of “How do I get better at networking?

A few years ago I asked myself the very same question. There are some people that will tell you that they absolutely love networking. They will say something like “It’s so much fun!” Yet, others, will tell you that they would rather have a root canal than attend a business networking event. As a shy introvert, networking was a painful activity for me. I’ve recently experienced a root canal and believe me … networking is much less painful.

John Jantsch from Duct Tape Marketing says that “networking isn’t something that you do before work or after work … it is work!” You don’t need to network to be in business butyou do if you want to stay in business!

Networking is not a normal and easy activity for many people, especially if you are shy. It is a skill that must be learned and practiced. In business and in life, a majority of our success comes from talking to people and involving them in your ideas, plans, or projects.